DIVINE TRIALS

THE MUD ~ anything from breaking a nail to armaggedon

The movie “G R A V I T Y” isn’t an epic adventure about outer space; it’s a non-stop, riveting journey through INNER SPACE, a cinematic tutorial on spiritual awakening,  proof that trials are invitations to decide and clarify:  What are we committed to ?  Do we want to live in fear or love ?  (all choices distill into these two)

George Clooney and Sandra Bulloch play the classic roles of Master and Apprentice.  George is the experienced, calm, wise, playful and encouraging Jedi; Sandra, the nervous, fumbling, trying-hard, panicking novice.  The entire movie is mostly about Sandra Bulloch overcoming a tirade of in-your-face, life threatening obstacles.  George has put in his 10,000 hours of mastery; Sandra, six months !  As the trials come, she starts racking up  intensive hours of training !  Over and over, in a split second, she must decide.  What does she want ?

The ending was, at first, curious.  But then ~ NOT.  A committed apprentice of loving choices, I decided to get really clear about my own decisions.  A visual learner and teacher, I whipped out my trusty drawing pad.

At the top of the paper I made two columns:  on the left “FEAR”; on the right, “LOVE.”  In the middle I listed all the fundamental tools for shifting to love.  Below is my list.  Feel free to add, subtract, question.

FEAR is ~

Contracting, complaining, blaming, secretive, petty, conniving, threatening, anxious, judgemental, critical, defensive, entitled, cheap, combative, disconnected (lonely, bitter), jealous, humorless, addictions (indulging in anything to excess, physical or mental – including worrying, drama, caring), withholding (affection, information, money, expression – anything), lying, shaming, drama, sarcasm, controlling, consuming (versus creating), avoiding, self-destruction (through thought, word, deed), closed mindedness, insecurity, bullying, dominance, gossipy, guilt, overwhelm, perfectionism, feeling not good enough,  unenlightened, unaware, uncommitted, powerless, directionless, sickness, stuck, unsure and just plain old MISERABLE !

LOVE is ~

Peace, harmony, cooperation, reverence, creativity, courage, faith, understanding, forgiving, kind, committed, wise, trustworthy, intuitive, compassionate, empathic, awake, enlightened, radiant, free, fun, laughter, serene, confident, adventurous, expansive, awe, tolerant, patient, sharing, generous, imagination, connection, fulfillment, clarity, joyous, playful, truth, easeful, appreciative, timeless, boundless, surrender, grateful, affectionate, abundance, responsible, open minded, open hearted, willingness, authentic, powerful, presence, flexible, curiosity, health, essence, purposeful, grounded, expansive and simply one rockin’, VIBRANT soul !

I AM COMMITTED TO COLUMN “LOVE.”

Simple but not easy.

In the past months, I, too, have been clunked by some dandy bits of “meteoric debris.”  Big life transitions !  Hit by a multitude of rocks at once, I spent a chunk of time and energy steeping in the aptly named “F” column !   Often, I lost my footing, slipped and fell into life’s “FOO-DOO” – the ol’ “Family Of Origin Excrement” (In today’s terms,  FOO is “software” of beliefs, values, patterns downloaded into me by others that runs on automatic, fueling my present “hardware” until I consciously decide to create something different.). Often, I was “just plain miserable.”

Luckily, I have a “George,” Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks, (of the famed Hendricks Institute) as well as several other masterful Jedis, to guide and support me !

To my delight, we, and Ms. Bulloch, use the same five fundamental tools to shift us toward love, our souls ~

BREATH – Just a few deep belly breaths can change your brain waves from this “!@#$%^&*+” to this ~~~~~~~. (The word “breath” btw, comes from the Latin “spirit.”)

PRESENCING/MINDFULNESS – Just noticing body sensations can drop you into your  body, turn off your “lizard brain,” shift fear.  And remember:  Your body cannot lie !  If you’re not sure what’s going on, notice ~ tight jaw ? tornado belly ? stiff neck ?  Notice, breathe.  Any images, feelings, thoughts arrive ?  Move. Breathe into the sensations.  What happens ?  Anything new ?

PLAY – Doing something just for the hell of it, no outcome in mind, is the definition of play.  Kids and dogs know this.   It changes your state.  Also, movement creates change – especially unusual ones which shake up the neural pathways. Making faces/ sounds, dancing, pretending, improv, stream of consciousness journaling – whatever we did as kids FOR FUN.  VERY essential for our development then and NOW.

CURIOSITY – Wonder.  Genuinely ask questions. (Note: “why” questions RARELY move us toward love.  There’s usually an underlying tone of accusation.) Explore, experiment.

LOVE – In the midst of fear, take a second to recall someone or something you know for sure, you love. Breathe them/it, in.  Let the delicious feeling of love, all its characteristics ooze through you like warm caramel. (love food metaphors)  Nothing bad can happen from this vibration.  In fact, since we ARE energy, it actually changes everything.

Sometimes, I mindfully walk the beach – my outer space.  In meditative silence, I watch birds fly in formation, shift their wings WITH the air…   toddlers build paper cup castles in the sand… dogs romp in the waves…  The sun goes in… and comes out.  Clouds drift… and the tide shifts.  Nature…  Miraculous nature !  And I’m a part of it !   And it’s generously  teaching me, showing me, who I am, what to do, how to be !

Yes, the trials come like the waves, wind.  Some big, some small.  But I am committed.  All will be opportunities for me to practice shifting from fear to love, to commit and RE-commit.  And every time I do, I will be practicing, practicing, practicing !   Racking up those 10,000 hours of mastery !

I have been awakened.

I have taken that the journey to my soul.

It is home.

I love it there.

Here.

Come on in !!!

Beaming love ~~~

THE DIVINE WHOOPS ! an addendum

THE MUD ~ Forgetting fundamental, automatic basics !

In my last post, I offered tips for self care in the midst of chaos (or anytime, for that matter).  This morning I woke up, began my routine and realized, “Holy-Moly, I forgot to mention THIS !!!”  So automatic – like brushing my teeth – I forgot to share the fundamental habits that sustain me everyday !!!

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DIVINE CHAOS and other swamp monsters

“Mud is for building things.”  Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks

THE MUD ~ when everyone and everything is screaming for your attention NOW !!!

As I write this, I’m stretched out across my bed, nestled in a mass of down pillows.  I’ve had it !  I’m giving myself a block of restful, blissful creativity.

Lately, almost everyone close to me – including me ! – is going through crazy, massive, life changes.  People are dying, moving, retiring, sick, disabled, and I’m finding myself smack dab in the middle of it all.  If I were to draw a picture of how I feel, I’d look like a slogging swamp thing, scowling and grunting, dripping with mud.

This is GOOD NEWS.  So muddied, I am literally fertile soil, on the brink of blooming beautiful things.

First step:  pull out some “roots !”

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THE DIVINE TRIPLETS

THE MUD ~ OVERWHELM

Monday morning.  Grumpy.  Not much sleep.  I’d gotten up to go to the bathroom and, slightly awakened, I began to THINK. Not good.  Like a tree load of monkeys on reds, all the things I “HAD” to do this week started screaming in my head:  Taxes, the house, the realtor, the doctors, the blog, homework, my parents, his parents, prep for my groups, handouts, research, packing my cart, (gotta remember to fill out my schedule sheet), call patients, oh yeah – bills !, the post office, the bank, wash the dog’s feet (He has athlete’s foot.  Can you BEE-lieve it ?!), a haircut, groceries, theatre night, change the bed sheets, do  laundry, send Valentines…. blah, blah, blah, blah BLAH !!!!

OY !!! (or OY-MATHONE, as my “bilingual” friend Pam says.)   CRAZINESS !

Sitting on the edge of the bed, head heavy, I lifelessly stroked my dog, Zeus.  He pawed at me:  Breakfast.  I want breakfast.

“Just a minute,” I chided.  “I want to get myself together.” photo3

He rolled over, showed me his belly:  Well, OK, but you’ll have to scratch me.

I pulled him into my lap, took a few calming breaths.

I KNOW better.  I KNOW this pattern and where I learned it.  This is my mother.  THIS is what I’ve lovingly learned to call THE INVASION OF THE TRIPLETS !  

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